Recently I’ve come across Wayne Dyers work. I have been interested in Spirituality for quite some time now. I find myself „at home“ in the buddhist teachings. I also believe that we are more than just this body. That we are some form of awareness that lives on after our physical death.

I believe that my brother, who has passed away 31 years ago, when he was only 19 years old, is still around me. He’s also living inside of my oldest son, who reminds me so much of him, sometimes this is painful and beautiful at the same time. You could say that these are just „the genes“ but I believe there is more. There is far too much happening out there that we cannot describe that I am convinced this world is more that just what we see and touch.

When looking up Wayne Dyer I came across his book „Change your thoughts, change your life“ in which he describes the 81 verses of the Tao te ching in his own words. I like to work on my thoughts because I know they are not always useful. I also like something being divided and digested in small portions like the Tao being divided in 81 verses. So I purchased the book as an audiobook and also ordered the German version to read along. This helps me understand the Tao even better.

I’m actually at Day 13 today but I’ve realized that the Tao is intense and obviously you cannot change your thoughts on a daily basis. So I went back to day 1 today and dove into that first verse.

1 – The Tao that can be spoken of is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name. The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth. The name is the mother of the ten thousand things. Send your desires away and you will see the mystery. Be filled with desire and you will see only the manifestation. As these two come forth they differ in name. Yet at their source they are the same. This source is called a mystery. Darkness within darkness, the gateway to all mystery.

Lao Tzu

I’m grateful to have Wayne’s explanation of all the verses, otherwise I would not completely understand what is meant. And yet I still struggle to understand. I think all of it could be broken down into even simpler words and only once you realize the meanings in your own life you will fully understand it.

With this verse all I got out was that we should not try to force things to be what we expect, to work the way we want it. When we let go of the „It has to…“ and simply allow things to happen, to be, to become it will all work out the way it should be.

Today I looked back and realized: Everything in my life that went really well actually happened without enforcement from my side. When I wanted things but let the Universe (or God, if you like) do the magic it all worked out. When I really desperately needed things to work out – they never did. I got pregnant three times without any effort. Because I always believed this would simply work out. I never worried about miscarriages or not being able to conceive in the first place. When I wanted a new job I always got the one that suddenly was available, not the one that I spent hours looking for.

Be open. Allow things to happen and see what is already there.

When I start a painting and have one in mind from another artist I usually spend hours, days, weeks of trying and starting all over. Because I want it to look like that one from that person. I want to be as good. But it’s not mine. It’s not a flow. It’s not allowing. It’s wanting. When I start one of my very own creations I just let myself be guided by my inner knowing. That’s what makes my drawings unique. they are just my own creation. No wanting something. Just being.

There is also that inner voice that tells me what to do. I just have to be open and listen to it. It does not always tell me what I want to hear. But it always tells me what I need to hear. The earlier I listen to it and follow it the easier my life flows.

So that is Day 1. Allowing. Not wanting. Today I allow myself to have a wonderful day. If I really need it to be a wonderful day it might just end up being a disaster. So let it just be what it is. And follow the mystery.